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The death and mourning of children

The death and mourning of children

Children express the state of mourning in a different way than adults. They do not talk about what confuses them or worries them about death, but rather shows it through behaviors different from the usual ones, which on many occasions, manifest anxiety. And it is that assimilating that they will no longer see or speak with someone important to them in their life because he has died is a hard blow that escapes their childish logic.

Managing absence is difficult for children, especially if we think that they are living primarily in the present. Therefore, it is important for parents to assume that we cannot fool them or disguise reality. Death is part of life, and so we must make him understand it, although tactfully and in the least painful way possible. If we choose to let them live in a bubble, oblivious to pain and adversity, we will not be helping our children to build a strong and courageous personality.

The sad atmosphere that exists at home after the death of a loved one can cause great confusion in the child when the truth about death has not been explained. Children can speculate with some misfortune about them or about their environment, and it is even possible that they understand that we want to abandon them or that we no longer love them. Before getting to that, it is more advisable to tell them the truth about death in a natural way, making them understand that it is something specific, that it is part of life and that it does not happen every day.

Positive responses from parents help children to grieve, a phase that we all have to go through to overcome the loss of a loved one. Children's understanding of death is painful at first, but comforting in the long run, as when it is disguised, children are more devastated and disappointed when they learn the truth.

However, when the loss corresponds to figures as important to the child as the father or mother, we must assume that the child will be sad and depressed for a long time and will need constant psychological support. Specialists say that removing photos or memories of the deceased is counterproductive, and what really helps them is physical contact and dialogue. With these weapons the child will be able to vent and eliminate tensions.

Marisol New. Copywriter

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