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When children try to control parents

When children try to control parents

There are children whose personality is controlling, they are bossy children who not only correct and scold their siblings or friends, they also do it to their parents.

They do not have to be tyrant children or children with Emperor syndrome, children who manipulate or dominate their parents with tantrums or physical attacks. Sometimes they are quiet children who do not show extreme behavior. However, in both cases, they are children trying to control parents. How to avoid it?

Children have arts that leave us open-mouthed on many occasions, they are capable of the most intricate tricks to get their way, be it getting us to buy something for them, invite a friend to our house or take them to the park. attractions.

Far from those little tricks that everyone puts into practice sometime, the danger comes when children try to control their parents, they believe they have the right to take our place and be a voice and a part in any matter. They get into issues that do not concern them, they try to impose their criteria and they always get away with it. In the end, the parents are puppets in their hands.

Sometimes parents do not see that attitude when it happens to us, but the alarms go off with that neighbor's son or our friend who sometimes gets put in his place.

And it is that, some children seem to have been born to leaders from their earliest childhood: they have to be aware of everything that happens at home, they try to impose their opinion at all costs, they believe they have the right to scold or order their siblings... Some do it from the tantrum or emotional blackmail and others from diplomacy or quieter negotiation.

"Why do you buy that", "I don't want to go to the park today", "what were you talking about with your friend", "don't let my brother get on the swing because he is going to fall", "we should go home now", "I don't like that you entertain yourself with other mothers after school" ... This constant control goes unnoticed by some parents, who end up being directed by their children, and for others it is a headache, they find this behavior irritating and they end up yelling and scolding for everything.

- Sometimes this attitude comes because the child lacks limits and norms in their education, the child is controlling and bossy because he has been allowed to be. Excessive permissiveness on the part of parents causes some children to take control at home.

- The other extreme also occurs: children copy the controlling and authoritarian attitude of parentsTherefore, we must take care of the example that we give them.

- We should not raise submissive children with fear of giving an opinion, but neither bossy children who want to direct us at all times. To achieve the middle ground, we can leave the child a space for their opinion and decision, but make it clear that important decisions are made by us and that they, in no case, can assume the role of parents.

- If the child is giving orders to his siblings and even trying to punish them, you should remove him from the situation immediately. When he is calm, make it clear that you are not going to allow him to act as a father to his brothers. Every time you see him with a bossy attitude about others, remove him from the situation.

- Teach the child that he cannot always get away with it, help him deal with frustration and to take no for an answer.

- Do not thank or laugh when the child takes on the role of parent, It may seem comical, but the response we give to their attitude will be key to eradicating or promoting it.

- Ignore him if he is asking for something wrong or shows no manners, "When you ask politely, we can start talking."

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