Information

10 keys to not yelling at children

10 keys to not yelling at children

That of the letter with blood enters is part of the past. And no, the past wasn't always better. Who most likes to do their job with shouting and pressure? Won't you work better in an environment where criticism is always constructive? The same goes for children. Learning will always be better without yelling. Screaming only creates fear and stress. But yes, many parents have a hard time keeping their temper. So, We offer you the keys to not yelling at children. Aim.

Perhaps the first clue not to yell at children is not wanting to do it. Obviously, if you are convinced that shouting is essential in education, these tips will not help you. If, on the other hand, you think that you accidentally yell at your children and want to change, go ahead:

1. The first step is to acknowledge that we yell too much and want to end this problem. Once you recognize it, surely you do everything on your part to stop yelling at the children.

2. Learn to control your emotions. The screams are nothing but the thunder of anger. If you uncover the box of fury, the most normal thing is that it will pour out through screams and more screams. Therefore, you must learn to channel that anger. How? There are many relaxation, meditation, or mindfulness methods that can help you.

3. Exercise patience. Yes, patience is trained. You may think that it is something you are born with, and that is why you are not patient at all. Nothing is further from reality. With determination, control of emotions ... you will get more patience every day.

4. Remember your age and that of your children. Don't put yourself on the same level. They are children. You, their adult of reference. Children do childish things and make mistakes. You are there to guide them and tell them how to correct those mistakes. And of course, among your functions is to repeat the same things to your children a hundred times.

5. Don't pay for your problems with your children. Many times, we come home after having a bad day at work ... and we pay for it with the least indicated people: our children. Suddenly a small drop causes the glass to fill, and you explode like a pressure cooker. Before going home, after a bad day at work, do some relaxation or Mindfulness exercise to get rid of anger.

6. You can also use the famous turtle technique. When you feel very angry and about to scream, think that you are a turtle. Imagine that you can lock yourself in your shell and in there, count to 10. It works!

7. Never lose respect for your children. If you end up yelling insults and humiliations towards your children, you will lose all respect, since you do not show any respect towards them either.

8. Find other techniques to make them obey you. For example, the sandwich technique, which consists of reminding your child of something that he does well, asking him what you want him to change because you consider that he is not doing well, and you end up thanking him that he will try and make an effort. You know, positive education.

9. Learn to ask for forgiveness. A good way to teach your children to ask for forgiveness is by asking them. Nothing like the example. If at some point you went overboard and did not control your anger, go ahead and ask for forgiveness. Of course they will understand. And they will forgive you.

10. Agree with your partner this type of education. If you manage to eliminate the yelling but your partner continues with them, you will have fixed the problem 'half'.

- When children only obey the signal of a scream, they learn that they must obey when the person who commands them is really angry. In the long run, the screaming will even lose its effect. And no, children should not obey because their parents are angry. If so, when they grow up, they will constantly seek an authoritarian role model.

- You are teaching your children that the only way to manage anger is to yell. What will they do? The same. They will not be able to control their anger in any other way. It will be a vicious cycle: he gets angry and his anger ends in a tantrum because he does not know how to channel his anger, and you in turn get angry at his tantrum and end up yelling at him ...

- The screams generate fear. If you want your child to obey when you yell at him, you may succeed, but he will do so out of fear, and not because what you tell him to do has a benefit for him. You will learn that in life, you learn through fear.

- You think that screaming gives you authority, and actually they only make your child slowly move away from you. The screams are violence, verbal violence. Who really wants a violent person by their side?

- And yes, screaming is a weapon of mass destruction of self esteem. Your child will end up obeying, out of fear, thinking that you don't trust him and that he does everything wrong. Your self-esteem will decline over time. And when he grows up, two things can happen: he uses the same tools that you taught him as a child with everyone else, and he becomes authoritarian and aggressive, or he sinks and closes himself under the shell of fear and becomes a scary adult full of complexes.

You can read more articles similar to 10 keys to not yelling at children, in the category of Conduct on site.


Video: How To Get Kids To Listen Without Yelling (January 2022).