I have two wonderful brothers, and although we live in different places, we are and feel very close. When we get together we usually remember the "old days" when we played, went on vacation, and one of the memories that makes us laugh the most is the fights we had from when we were very little. Today we laugh, but surely before we have had a bad time every time we quarreled, competed, and got into conflict over something.
Children, especially when they are brothers, fight over everything. For the biggest piece of the chocolate bar, for the funniest toy, for the place at the table, in the car, ... and especially when they feel bored, any reason is enough reason to fight. In other words, children fight over everything and nothing.
To some extent, there are parents who manage to control and bring order to the situation, but when the conflict is repeated over and over again, day after day, there is no control that results in a positive result, which makes parents wonder if it is situation is normal, if they are only things of age, or what are they wrong. If your children fight, calm down, it is totally normal. It is part of your life learning.
Fighting can be just a phase or become a family habit. Fights allow each of the children to assert their identity to their siblings. If the child yells, berates, insults, gets angry and says clearly what he wants and what he does not want, he is making himself heard in the family and, therefore, he exists.
It is an important phase in their life as long as the parents know how to control and impose the rules and limits, so that this phase does not become a habit or a custom that can reach adulthood of the children.
Sibling fights usually appear at the age of 5 or 6. Children fight not over things, but to assert their identity, for the love and care of their parents, and also to test their limits and those of others. The child learns that if he hits or insults his brother, he can also receive the same in return.
The role of parents is fundamental in this regard. Therefore, they must impose some rules very early:
1. Teach that respect is essential in living with others, by example and patience. That we cannot do what we want, even if we are angry.
2. Teach them to recognize their mistakes and to ask for forgiveness. They should never go to bed angry with each other. That's what my mother taught us.
3. Teach that they have the right to get angry, to argue, to disagree, but not to fight or to insult or humiliate the other. When one does not want to, two do not fight. So you have to punish both and not just one, unless it is clear who is really guilty.
4. Establish the consequences of non-compliance with the rules. If they fight, they are punished without seeing their favorite pictures, etc.
5. Stimulate dialogue and conversation between children.
6. Consider whether the family is experiencing a difficult time, of changes, etc. Something may be influencing the behavior of the children.
7. Fun makes you forget all evils. If your children fight a lot, invite them for a walk and play outside.
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