Parents who use the authoritarian style in their children's education put aside the emotional needs of the little ones. Communication between parents and children in the authoritarian style is very scarce. Adults do not know how to catch up with children to be able to speak and carry on a conversation. For this reason, authoritarian parents put negotiation aside and focus on the imposition of rules established by the law of "because I said so."
Authoritarian parents, by not focusing on emotional needs, tend to be little affectionate with their children so they exert high pressure on them to assume responsibilities and are very demanding with everything that the little ones do.
The use of this type of educational style can be due to several reasons:
- The model of a lifetime. The authoritarian style usually occurs in parents who also had parents who were authoritarian with them. They repeat by imitation the style their parents used with them when they were little because they are convinced that it works; with them he did.
- Complications in other aspects of life. It may happen that in the work environment or in the relationship with the couple there are high levels of stress. Due to this, tense and irritable moments have to be managed constantly, which makes adults become intolerant of the demands of their children when they exercise their role as parents. Faced with the “bad” behaviors or the low academic performance of the little ones that add to the accumulated stress, parents see a possible solution in the control, being rigid, demanding and inflexible, which are characteristics of the authoritarian style.
- Protect the child. Authoritarian parents are demanding of their children. For the little ones to optimally fulfill all their responsibilities, parents exercise a high degree of control that leads them to overprotect the child without letting them experiment for themselves. Parents believe that thanks to this control the child is protected from inappropriate behaviors, bad influences, bad decisions since it is considered that the child does not have the capacity to do so.
The challenge for all parents is to exercise positive authority over their children so that they grow up happy, confident, curious, independent, respectful, etc. The problem is that many times when seeking this authority and due to different reasons, the old figure of the authoritarian father of other times is reached and causing the opposite effect:
- Causing insecurity. The high expectations that parents have for their children cause in the little ones excessive nervousness, discomfort and even anxiety caused by always wanting to satisfy their parents.
- Low self-esteem. Insecurity causes them a poor concept of themselves.
- Little emotional intelligence. Children do not learn to manage their emotions. They go straight through the extremes: either they have deep hatred and rage for their father figures or just the opposite, they are submissive.
- Bad decision making. Children do not have the autonomy to choose what they want to do. They must meet the goals that parents have set for them. Because of this they do not have the opportunity to be independent and to learn the skills that make it possible for them to resolve their own conflicts.
- May cause discomfort and illness. Being under pressure from overly demanding parents on a day-to-day basis can cause children to have low defenses and be exposed to illness, and even depression.
- Not having social skills. Being too authoritarian can create an irrational fear in children to talk to their parents, comment on anything, fear of making a mistake. This means that children do not develop the social skills necessary to interact in the future
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