If getting children to obey is challenging most of the time, do it the first time without having to repeat things, is already a prize. And, one of our main goals as parents is to get children to listen to us.
In this process, some parents lose their nerve, others despair, there are some who throw in the towel and others, we continue looking for a way to achieve it without drama. Because, after all, even if we don't believe it, we have a lot to do with our children not obeying.
What happens when our children don't obey? We ask them for something once, twice, and the third time comes the screaming, loss of patience, anger ... This is a scene that shows what usually happens:
- Carlitos, pick up your toys.
- Carlitoooooos, have you heard me? Toys!
- Carlos, how will you find out! I'm throwing all the toys at you! I'll tell you 3: 1, 2 ...
- This child is messy, there is no one to make him see reason, one of these days he will find out - murmurs the angry mother while Carlitos continues to watch television.
In this scene the mother has made several mistakes, in the end I will tell you which one is the main one, but first, I will give you the 3 guidelines for the children to obey Dean and Holly, parents of 5 children, who through the pages and Videos from The ParentHoodblog, give interesting and useful tips on education.
1- Create a discipline tool: be it time out, stop playing with siblings, not have your favorite dessert, not go to the movies on the weekend, reduce television time to the day ... We parents have to teach that before a bad choice, there will be consequence.
2. Prepare the child- In order for you to know what is a bad choice, what we mean by bad behavior and what will happen if you have bad behavior, it is important that there is a family reunion or there is a family talk. Talking and explaining what will happen when you make a bad decision is essential.
3. Take the consequence to the end: You don't have to yell, or spank, or reach that point of anger of no return. With peace and love, the child does not watch television, does not go to the movies with his friend or does not eat his favorite dessert. "Because I love you, I have to take this to the end" is the best lesson we can give them.
But let's go back to the previous scene, the mother made several mistakes, the main one: there was no educational consequence for the disobedience of the son. The mother screamed, threatened and protested but the child continued to watch television quietly. It seems obvious right? Well, it happens every day in our homes.
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